Overcoming Survival Mode
How many times have you felt like you needed to tap out? Life becomes stressful and overwhelming and you wish there was someone to step in and give you a quick break- a few self-care hours, a water break even. But no one is there to save you from yourself. The self that overthinks and lacks quality of life due to over-giving and people-pleasing. And sometimes there is someone or some others available to provide support, but your mind remains in overdrive and relaxation, or relaxing thoughts are fleeting. More concerning- how many women have been in survival mode and did not realize it? Constantly in a state of fight-or flight, exhausted and on edge. I know I have been there and realized it kind of late- but it’s never too late. If you have experienced any of this, how did you recover? If you’re still there, let’s talk about how one may get to this place and some possible ideas on how to get out.
Survival mode often stems from a place of chronic stress and exhaustion, and yields a feeling as though some days you are barely treading above water. It is difficult to pinpoint one source of “survival mode,” but it is often fueled by compounded stressors and experiences that go missed, ignored or avoided in an effort to maintain some sense of stability and security. Fear of the unknown and lack of predictability of what is next also contribute to survival mode, particularly if one comes from a background of trauma or threat.
Signs of survival mode could include:
· Having the inability to relax
· Becoming easily irritated
· Finding it more difficult to focus
· Feeling unmotivated to complete tasks
· Having issues coping with minor inconveniences
· Turning to alcohol and/or drugs to “numb” yourself
· Finding it harder to regulate your emotions
So, how does one begin the work towards getting out of survival mode- acknowledgement/validation, self-compassion and self-care.
ACKNOWLEDGMENT/VALIDATION
It is important to acknowledge that your feelings are real, rather than suppress them. I believe strongly that you can only push feelings down for so long before they erupt or manifest in a manner that you have no control over. It is also important to pay attention to your body- physical triggers that indicate heightened feelings of anxiety or intense thoughts. Put a name to your thoughts. I encourage clients often to utilize a feelings wheel that helps to put words to emotions, in order to describe and understand what you’re feeling and possibly why. Remember that your feelings are valid, but it is also important to challenge thoughts and feelings at times with facts.
SELF-COMPASSION
How would you talk to a friend or close family member who is experiencing the same challenges you are? Treat yourself with the same kindness, patience and understanding that you would others. Engage in positive self-talk that is encouraging and not judgemental.
SELF-CARE
It is important to engage in preventative measures to manage potential stressors, feelings of overwhelm and burn out. Of course, your self-care plan will depend on your circumstances and will change as life changes. Important to note, survival mode is a physiological and psychological state triggered by stress or threat, and leads to the body prioritizing protection and neglect of self-care. Exiting out of survival mode involves recognizing its signs and intentionally implementing self-care practices that address physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
Living in survival mode can be an emotional rollercoaster. But you are resilient, you can overcome and learn from the experience in order to not stay in that space. You’re not alone, we’re in this together.
